Masturbate to porn, Nazi!

“No Nut November” is an online pledge, in which young non-leftist men are making a promise to steer clear of internet porn, as well as abstain from masturbating for the entire month. It may have a nasty name, but it’s a highly admirable goal that should be encouraged, not derided.

Self-denial is a Christian virtue. It’s why we Orthodox fast every Wednesday and Friday, avoiding meat and dairy, and at times olive oil and wine, depending upon the guidelines of the liturgical calendar. Total fasting (meaning no food or even water) is reserved from midnight the day before receiving the Eucharist. We also fast for a few special days, like those commemorating the Eve of the Theophany, the Beheading of St. John the Baptist, and the Feast of the Elevation of the Holy Cross.

But there are four major Orthodox fasting periods: Nativity, the Apostles Fast, the Dormiton of Theotokos, and Great Lent. During all four of these fasting seasons, as well as during the two weekly fasts, Orthodox – even married couples – should also abstain from sex. But because this is apparently so difficult for sex-obsessed moderns, there is typically (depending upon pastoral counsel) the minimal rule that one should not engage in sexual relations at least the night before receiving Holy Communion and throughout Holy Week.

My point in bringing this up is not to tout Orthodoxy. (I’ll be the first to admit that I struggle with fasting.) It’s not to compare going masturbation-free for one month to the time-honored spiritual practices of devout Christians. It’s to say that abstaining from from sex, or masturbation, or food, or alcohol, or social-media, or shopping, or watching your favorite sport, or video games, or whatever is your idol is a healthy practice of growing in self-control, and to point out that even some Orthodox have created wiggle room for sexual exemptions. Fasts are not easy, thus, they’re supposed to increase in Christians purity and holiness, and self-discipline, delayed gratification, low-time preference, and focus in both Christians and non-Christians alike. Abstinence is a positive thing, no matter who you are or how you square it, and it should be worked at and revered by all people.

For the Orthodox, we are encouraged “to come out of that sinful state into which the whole human race fell and lost paradise through our first parents’ lack of restraint, and which each of us only increases through our own sins; to come out by the path of faith, prayer, humility, and God-pleasing fasting,” wrote Archpriest Gregory Debolsky.

Sure, men who take the “No Nut November” pledge may not understand fully the spiritual weapons they can possess and utilize in battles against the flesh. But what they do have is one another, helping other pledgers through the challenge with encouraging words and funny memes, as well as the risk of having to change your avatar to the crazed-looking, masturbation-addicted “Coomer” avatar, if you break rules.

Because this movement is aimed at men bettering themselves and improving their habits and lifestyles, the deviant detractors are out for white-man blood. “How dare these losers not constantly masturbate just like we’ve programmed them to do?” scoff leftists. “How dare these right-wingers avoid women-empowering porn?” bemoan leftists. “These misogynists all live in their mom’s basement so they might as well have at it,” tease progressives. And “Their solidarity is down-right fascist!” screech the cultural Marxists.

“The mere prospect of young men involving themselves in a like-minded community … caused panic amongst the deluge of degenerate cumbrains,” commented vlogger Paul Joseph Watson. Because this pledge “actually encourages young men to reclaim control over their own lives, something that the fringe-left sees as ‘toxic masculinity,'” they want to shame it out of existence.

“What was once the virtue of chastity and self-control is now derided as evidence of retarded development, for all adults are sexual active, by definition,” remarked Father Lawrence Farley. “Abstinence is not regarded as a laudable but impossible goal (like running a three-minute mile), but as a kind of defect or disorder (like an inability to see color or experience taste).”

The very ones who claim to be so tolerant are the most obnoxious and hateful busybodies around. They clamor on about the puritanical and prudish behavior of people who respect tradition and seek to resist moral decay. Yet, it’s progressives who are akin to the meddlesome Puritans, not the man who exhibits strength and will power in order to overcome a vice.

They’re the ones who blather on about sex in the “privacy of your own home” and “two consenting adults” and how people need to butt out of their bedrooms and not judge their sexual proclivities, no matter how debased or how public. But for some reason, this pledge involving individuals making personal choices about their own sex life sends the post-modern totalitarians into a tizzy.

It’s almost as if they revel in schadenfreude. Why else would you want anyone to participate in activities that decline fertility rates, increase depression, reduce energy and productivity, lead to erectile dysfunction, mollify a man’s natural desire for physical touch from a real woman, or deter him from seeking a living, breathing wife?

“Today, there are now 24 studies linking porn use to sexual problems and lower arousal in response to sexual stimuli or partnered sex,” explained Gabe Deems, who Watson features in his video (explaining how excessive porn-viewing rewires the human brain). Deems, himself a former porn addict, calls pornography a “public health issue.” He’s the creator of Reboot Nation, an online support community for men struggling with the mental and physical ramifications of dependence on “artificial sexual stimulation.”

Funny that the same people who claim to worship science and reason and open-mindedness ignore this data. “Not masturbating causes prostate cancer!” chirp the puritanical-progressives. “Beat your meat. It’s for your health!” demand the perverts.

Hell, some sex “experts” and their malevolent minions even allege that porn addiction is a myth pushed on otherwise sexually healthy men by family-values frauds and religious quacks. Dr. David J. Ley, clinical psychologist and author of Ethical Porn for Dicks, calls it a “pseudo-disorder.” In fact, he goes so far as to say that watching pornography helps people to “develop more egalitarian and feminist views,” and not masturbating can decrease testosterone.

Not masturbating is also being blamed for fueling “alt-right anger.” When on The Daily Show with correspondent Michael Kosta, Ley “noted that the biggest contemporary proponents of this ‘no wank philosophy’ (Kosta’s words) were the Proud Boys,” insinuating that “racist” right-wingers are the only ones trying to avoid self-gratification. In fact, this “far-right moratorium on salami wrestling (again, obviously, Kosta) dates back to Nazi Germany, where young men were taught not to masturbate as a way to make them more malleable to other practices and ideas.”

Hell, just being opposed to porn is anti-Semitic, insists the New York Times. After all, it’s only “hate groups” (read: white men) pushing the idea that porn is negative, unhealthy, and even dangerous. The enlightened masses understand that masturbating to internet porn is what all the cool kids are doing. “Which side are you on, PJW?” asked trans YouTuber Blair White, poking fun at Watson for his critique of the West’s preoccupation with sex. “Freedom is the freedom to be a little bit of a ho,” the “conservative” political commentator assures us. Porn is patriotic, don’t ya know?!

Anti-porn advocates and pledgers are “conspiracy theorists,” say the keepers of acceptable opinion. You can trust Joanna Mendelson, a senior researcher for the Anti-Defamation League. It’s simply racist white men fomenting “micro-conspiracies that help to further breed these larger conspiracies: Jews control Hollywood and the media, and by extension the porn industry.” If you see patterns, and then try your best to navigate and survive the dystopian reality which progressives have engineered, you’re the nihilist. You’re the extremist, demands the ADL.

Forget that Jewish people (who are 2-3% of the American population) are indeed disproportionately involved in the porn industry. “Math is hate,” they ordain. “Identity politics for we, but not for thee,” they decree. Forget that porn publisher Al Goldstein once said, “The only reason that Jews are in pornography is that we think that Christ sucks. Catholicism sucks. We don’t believe in authoritarianism.” Or that long-time ADL director Abe Foxman celebrated pornographers, who he said are “individuals pursuing the American dream.” Don’t worry about those darn bigoted facts, white man. Just embrace liberty!

Former FBI agent Michael German said that “anti-porn rhetoric was baked into the culture of the violent white supremacist groups he investigated in the 1990s.” He declared, “In any sort of fundamentalist culture, there is a desire to control sexuality, and this one’s no different.” Yep, you’re a white-supremacist if you want to avoid online pornography. Just masturbate to strangers having hardcore sex on your computer screen. It’s your civic duty! Stop being such an authoritarian fundamentalist, Nazi.

Watson discusses a Scientific American article about studies concluding that “by contrast with human beings, masturbation to completion is an exceedingly rare phenomenon in other species with capable hands very much like our own.” Ironically, it was 60 years ago that “pioneering” sex researcher Alfred Kinsey claimed that masturbation leading to orgasm was practiced by a near-majority of Americans, and that it was “widespread and almost universal among men.” It’s basic instinct, y’all. Muh scientism.

Thus, if masturbation is “natural,” as the reprobates claim, it must be indulged. No questions asked. “The desire for sex is natural, but like the desire for food, it must be limited and contained if it is not to do us harm,” countered Farley, making a distinction between innate and natural desires. “People have no trouble with acknowledging that we must exercise self-control when it comes to food; why the cultural hysteria when the Church counsels the same self-control when it comes to sex?”

Well, according to “master troll and alt-right philosopher” Bronze Age Pervert, whom Watson cites, mainstreaming internet pornography and its masturbatory effects creates an “Iron Prison.” Subsequently, challenging that post-Christian precept becomes a threat to the power structure and endangers to perpetuation of “gynocracy.”

“Yeast Mother leviathan oozes into every nook and cranny of modernity, smothering vitality in a doughy blob of ‘safety’ and ‘agreeableness,'” wrote a reviewer of Bronze Age Mindset. “Modern man is fag, even athletes and soldiers, defanged, domesticated, soft, plump, weak, made into cattle so life force can be sucked out by pathetic vampires, themselves only sad shadows of real tyrants.”

If men succeed at foiling their feminization and degradation, even in the seemingly smallest of ways like “No Nut November,” they may begin to imagine the “sacred bands of brother warriors bringing wrath of nature’s justice upon the decadent, weak world order.” This is precisely why pledgers are mocked and scorned.

In “today’s Internet pornography scene, where zero is left to the imagination,” asked Psychologist Jesse Bering, “is the next generation going to be so intellectually lazy in their sexual fantasies that their creativity in other domains is also affected? Will their marriages be more likely to end because they lack the representational experience … to picture their husbands and wives during intercourse as the person or thing they really desire?” The answer is undeniably “Yes,” but my guess is that few of today’s porn addicts will ever even have wives and families, unless they can create the necessary change and buck the cult of conformity.

Hey, leftists. Do you really hate white men that much that you want them to be trapped in a cycle of futility, dependent upon ineffectual ejaculation and hypnotized with perpetual horniness? Again, the answer is an emphatic “Yes,” so stop being distracted with deviance and preoccupied with porn and those artificially induced dopamine hits. Man up. Be strong. Abstain. Find a lady to court and marry, and have lots and lots of babies. It’s good for you, and bad for the haters.